Story: No Doubt since the Virgin Marry Again

"I am a 28-year-old girl, planning to get married this year. Faced with this plan, I have more doubts because I was not a virgin.

Until the middle of last year I was still going out with a man. I've frequently have intercourse. Since it is impossible to marry him, I was forced to break even with very heavy.

With future husband, I have never had sex. I am afraid if he knows my real situation. I am confused how to behave. What I have to admit that I was not a virgin? The problem is, I fear he canceled the wedding plans. Better how, what should come clean or not?

How do men think the girl who was not a virgin? Does your husband know that I can certainly was not a virgin? "

Hospital, Medan

View of the prospective husband
Perhaps better if you know what the future husband of virginity. By knowing in advance, you can take a stand and make more informed decisions regarding the continuation of your relationship with him.

You can also find out what she thinks about premarital sexual relationships. Did he himself ever had sexual intercourse or not. Had he said, including people who are very opposed to premarital sexual relations and he applied also in life, you should not pursue a relationship with him.

If he ever had sexual intercourse before marriage, but demanded that his wife was a virgin, you conclude he can not accept you. However, if he considers premarital sexual relations is not something that should be in question, you can pursue a relationship with him.

The problem, wedding plans have been determined, so I think it is difficult for you to suddenly come clean. If he can accept, certainly not a problem. Conversely, if he refuses, it will be a heartbreaking problem for you and your family.

The presumption virgin
At present there is a change has been the notion of men and women against women virginity. In the past, man has always demanded a virgin even though she did not know how to prove the charges correctly.

Many men assume incorrectly that women should be virgins bleed when they first had sexual intercourse. However, now many men are no longer problem virginity, probably because of aware of it not directly related to the ability to be a wife.

It may also realize that is not easily determine whether a woman has or has not had sexual intercourse. On the other hand, the many women who consider premarital sexual relations is not an issue that should be done.

I want to straighten out the incorrect assumption in the community about virginity. First, it is not true she should bleed during sexual intercourse the first time. Second, it is not true she would have difficulty when they first had sexual intercourse.

Third, it is not true that men will easily be able to tell if a woman had sexual intercourse or not. Fourth, there is no difference between women who had sexual intercourse and that frequent masturbation by using the object that is inserted into the vagina.

With the above facts, perhaps you should not feel very worried about your husband will know that you frequent sexual intercourse. Especially if you can control myself so as not to be too reactive during sexual intercourse the first time. @

Consultation is answered by Prof. Dr. Dr. Wimpie Pangkahalia, spand